Hold My Hand
by hereidreamtiwas
Summary: Kurt has never been comfortable with physical affection, and he's never received any before Blaine. Four times Blaine helped Kurt be more at ease with being touched, and one time Kurt returned the favor.


**A/N:** First story ever! I'm very excited for this. Please read and leave me a review :)

Blaine was- well, there was no easy way to put it. He was something of a...a touchaholic. He loved to show how he felt. In every photo ever taken of Blaine with another person, he would always have his arm wrapped around his companion, or would be hugging the other person, or something else of the sort. Physical affection came naturally to him- it was something he craved and gave without hesitation.

Blaine was also a die-hard romantic. And half the appeal of romance, to him, was being able to show how you feel- the stolen touches, hugs, kisses, holding another person's hand...he desperately wanted someone who he could shower with all of his physical attention. He searched long and hard, waiting for the one. He thought for a moment that it was Jeremiah and even mistakenly thought he saw something in Rachel.

And then he found Kurt. Smart, opinionated, snarky, gorgeous Kurt with the shy smile and the pretty eyes and the voice that no one could silence. Kurt was the one he had been looking for. The first time he turned around at the foot of that staircase and saw Kurt's face, his jaw dropped a little. It was as though destiny had taken everything he wanted and put it right in front of him in the form of the firecracker of a boy that stood there.

And Blaine just couldn't resist. He leaned forward and grabbed hold of Kurt's hand (almost swooning at how soft Kurt's hand was) and proceeded to run with him through the longest possible path he could come up with, all the while imagining it to be in slow motion and set to soft piano music. He knew he was being a sap. He also didn't care.

When he finally had to let go of Kurt's hand, he hated it. So he leaned forward and pretended to fix Kurt's collar (which was, of course, perfectly fine to begin with) - just to have some sort of contact with him again. Then he moved on to sing possibly the least subtle and most flirtatious song ever to Kurt. And half a school year later, they were together. Simple? No. Perfect? Definitely.

So there Blaine was, with everything he had longed for- a wonderful boyfriend to shower with physical attention. And yet it wasn't that easy.

Kurt had been tormented all his life, bullied and teased and ridiculed. Everyone had hated him for his sexuality, and made a point of acting as though he was some sort of poisonous bug- the only time anyone touched him was to squash him. Kurt's father loved him with all his heart, but he wasn't the most physically affectionate person. And the only instances when any other person touched him were to throw him in dumpsters or shove him into lockers.

And as a result, Kurt had become somewhat uncomfortable with physical affection- plainly because he had never received any. While he had returned Blaine's first kiss enthusiastically, it had been more of a heat-of-the-moment thing. He would have never received nor given physical affection so comfortably in any other situation. He had been swept up by his emotions during that kiss. He loved Blaine with all his heart, but he just didn't know how to be close to him physically.

Blaine had, of course, noticed this. Every other couple he had seen were all over each other at this stage. Yet Kurt kept his distance. The looks Kurt gave Blaine and the things he said made it more than clear to Blaine that Kurt loved him, but Kurt always kept his distance. Whenever Blaine tried to show his affection, Kurt would blush or giggle and move away.

So Blaine took an oath- he was going to teach Kurt how to be at ease with receiving and giving physical attention.

-1-

Blaine and Kurt lay side-by-side on Kurt's bed, buried in the latest issue of Vogue. Every once in a while one of them would comment on something in the magazine, or make a joke about something they saw. Blaine felt utterly blissful. He couldn't think of a better way to spend his evening. Well, actually, he could. They could be wrapped together and reading Vogue now, but instead Kurt lay half a foot away from Blaine so that they weren't touching.

The touchaholic in Blaine was starting to act up. He was simply itching to touch Kurt. Kurt was never going to come to him. So, Blaine rolled over on to his side and wrapped an arm around Kurt's waist. Kurt tensed up slightly.

"Mmmm," Blaine hummed, resting his head on Kurt's chest and entwining one of his legs with one of Kurt's.

"Blaine?" Kurt asked.

Blaine looked up from without taking his head off of Kurt's chest.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm clinging to you like a baby koala," Blaine replied. Kurt giggled, relaxing.

Blaine pressed a kiss to Kurt's jaw and then settled back down on Kurt's chest, closing his eyes. Kurt remained in the same position, apparently unsure of what to do.

"Hold me, Kurt," Blaine whispered into Kurt's chest.

Kurt hesitantly wrapped his arms around Blaine's back, holding Blaine to his chest. Blaine leaned into his touch and they lay there for a while, magazine forgotten. Kurt looked down at the shorter boy wrapped around him and was amazed at how right it felt.

-2-

It was a gorgeous sunny day in Lima, Ohio. Blaine was sitting up against the fence in Kurt's backyard with Kurt's head in his lap. Kurt had slowly become slightly more comfortable with being close to Blaine, something that Blaine was thoroughly enjoying. Kurt sighed contentedly from where he lay, and Blaine looked down at him fondly.

Kurt's eyes were closed, his hair rippling slightly in the warm breeze. His neck was stretched out in front of Blaine's eyes, and Blaine took a moment to admire it, how long and pale and flawless it was. Blaine was struck by a suddenly impulse, and he leaned down and pressed his lips to the side of Kurt's neck.

Kurt let out a surprised noise and opened his eyes, looking up at Blaine.

"What was that?" he asked.

"I kissed your neck," Blaine said nonchalantly, "Isn't that okay?"

"I- of course it's okay, Blaine, but-"

"Did I make you uncomfortable?" Blaine asked, sounding a little worried. Kurt instantly felt bad.

"No, Blaine, no. It felt-" Kurt blushed a little, (_god, he's adorable_, Blaine thought) "it felt really good. It's just that it felt really...intimate."

Blaine kept gazing down into Kurt's eyes.

"I know I'm not the best with this physical stuff, Blaine," Kurt said earnestly, "I'm sorry that it's taking so long-"

"Don't apologize, Kurt," Blaine said, "Take your time, there's no rush and no pressure. I'm just trying to slowly help you be comfortable with me."

Kurt nodded and smiled up at Blaine. Blaine smiled back at him.

They lay there for a few long moments before Kurt tugged Blaine's head back down and Blaine happily let his lips trace over Kurt's neck and collarbone as a soft smile played on Kurt's lips.

-3-

Blaine had never thought that the day would come when he would actually be jealous of Puck. The dude wasn't really the sharpest tool in the shed, so to speak. Kurt had told him that Puck once believed that women had prostates. And yet here it was- he was jealous of Puck.

A lot of people didn't think much of Puck and Lauren's relationship, but Blaine thought that they were pretty good matches for each other. Puck needed a girl who was headstrong and enough of a badass to take him on, and Lauren was exactly that. Blaine was over at Kurt's house now, where some of the kids from New Directions were hanging out, and Puck and Lauren were there too. Lauren was sitting on the sofa and Puck was in her lap.

Blaine wondered what it would be like to have Kurt in his lap. He wondered for a while about it. And then it was all that he could think about. And when all the New Directions members left and Blaine and Kurt settled down to watch a movie together, it was still all he could think about.

They were sitting on the sofa, Kurt next to the arm of the sofa and Blaine right next to him. Blaine had the urge to just yank Kurt onto his lap, but he wasn't sure how receptive Kurt would be to that idea. Instead, he scooted a little closer to Kurt. Kurt didn't appear to notice. He scooted closer again, now pretty much crowding Kurt into the arm of the sofa. Kurt looked at how Blaine was pressing closer and raised an eyebrow.

"You sure you've got enough space over there, Blaine?" Kurt asked, amused, pointedly glancing at the empty half of the sofa on Blaine's side.

Blaine ignored him and put his head on Kurt's shoulder and wrapped his arms around Kurt's neck.

"Hello, clingy," Kurt giggled, putting his arm around Blaine and kissing his forehead.

Half an hour later, Kurt disentangled himself from Blaine and went to get popcorn, and Blaine had an idea- not a particularly good idea, but one that might possibly work. He scooted over into Kurt's spot.

Kurt came back to see Blaine sitting in his spot, beaming up at him.

"Um, okay," Kurt said, moving around Blaine to sit next to him. Blaine scooted over quickly so that he couldn't sit there either.

Kurt put the popcorn down.

"Is there a reason you won't give me any space to sit down, Blaine?" Kurt asked.

"Well," Blaine said pointedly, "Since there's no space on the sofa, maybe you could sit somewhere else?"

"...On the floor?" Kurt asked, confused. Blaine groaned.

"Kurt, why would I want you to sit on the floor?" Blaine asked, "Somewhere else."

He patted his lap invitingly. Kurt blushed and looked away.

"You want me to sit on your lap?" Kurt asked, bright red. Blaine nodded.

"Why not?" Blaine asked, "Everyone else does it. Please, Kurt?"

He made puppy dog eyes at Kurt. Kurt smiled.

"Fine," Kurt said, "But technically, you're smaller than me, so you should be in my lap."

"That works for me!" Blaine said enthusiastically, jumping up. Kurt sat down on the sofa and let Blaine sit down on his lap, then put his arms around Blaine. Blaine sighed contentedly and kissed Kurt's cheek as they kept watching the movie. Kurt found himself marveling again at how natural this was- it felt so nice to be wrapped around Blaine like this. He held Blaine tighter.

-4-

Blaine walked up to Kurt's door and rang his doorbell. He had come around to pick up Kurt for a date at Breadstix. He waited, but no one opened up. He rang the doorbell again. It seemed that no one was at home. Blaine checked his phone. There were no messages from Kurt saying that he couldn't go out today. He read the last message Kurt had sent him and realized that he had arrived at Kurt's house half an hour too early.

He heard sounds coming from the garage. He figured that Kurt's dad was in there working on a car and made his way over to the garage to ask where Kurt was. He saw someone bent over a blue sedan.

"Excuse me, Mr. Hummel, do you know where Kurt is?" Blaine called out.

The person straightened up and Blaine saw that it wasn't Kurt's dad, but Kurt himself. He was wearing blue jeans, was very sweaty, had a wrench in his hand, and was quite, quite shirtless. Blaine gaped. Kurt stood up and saw Blaine.

"I- Jesus, Blaine!" Kurt squeaked, and looked around wildly for something to cover up his torso with. He couldn't find anything.

"Kurt, you're shirtless." Blaine said out loud, as though he couldn't believe what he was seeing.

Kurt blushed. "I didn't want to get grease on my Alexander McQueen shirt, so I took it off," he muttered.

Blaine just kept looking unashamedly, eyes raking over Kurt's arms, chest, and the lightly defined abs.

"Blaine, you're staring," he mumbled, embarrassed.

"You're my boyfriend," Blaine breathed, "I'm allowed to look."

"I'm going to go get a shirt," Kurt said, bright red, trying to brush past Blaine.

"You never get to wear a shirt again," Blaine said, not letting him pass, "Hot _damn_, Kurt. My boyfriend has the hottest body ever!"

Kurt blushed wildly. "Blaine!" he protested, self-consciously folding his arms over his chest.

Blaine moved closer, staring into Kurt's eyes now. "I'm serious, Kurt," he said quietly, "You look amazing."

Kurt swallowed slowly, unable to break eye contact. Blaine reached out and placed a hand on Kurt's chest.

"Blaine, I'm all sweaty," Kurt said, but made no move to remove Blaine's hand.

"I really don't care," Blaine muttered, moving closer.

"I'm covered in grease," Kurt tried again, but his hand unconsciously wrapped around Blaine's waist, pulling him nearer.

"Mm-hmm," Blaine murmured, running his hand down Kurt's chest.

"I'm-" Kurt began again, but was cut off as Blaine pressed a searing kiss to his lips. Kurt kissed him back immediately, running a hand through Blaine's curls. Blaine pushed Kurt up against the wall as the kiss turned passionate, Blaine parting Kurt's lips apart with his own. Kurt sucked on Blaine's tongue and Blaine let out a soft little noise into Kurt's mouth.

"God, I can't resist you," Blaine breathed against Kurt's mouth, running his hands down Kurt's sides.

Blaine broke away to press open-mouthed kisses to Kurt's neck and chest, stopping to suck at his collarbone. Kurt moaned and pulled Blaine back up, crushing their lips together. Blaine ran his hands through Kurt's hair, letting out a little groan against Kurt's mouth as Kurt massaged Blaine's tongue with his own.

Soon, however, the need for oxygen became overwhelming, and they pulled away, panting. Blaine rested his forehead against Kurt's as he tried to catch his breath.

"Wow," Kurt said a few moments later, leaning back against the car.

"Wow indeed," Blaine agreed, nodding at Kurt's abs.

Kurt laughed and pushed playfully at Blaine's shoulder, but Blaine just wrapped his arms around Kurt and pulled him closer. Kurt kissed Blaine's cheek and went inside to change for their date, leaving Blaine to stand in the garage smiling to himself.

+1

Blaine leaned against the back of his house, failing to fight back tears. He had wanted today to be perfect. Kurt was supposed to meet Blaine's parents, they were supposed to love him, and then they would finally realize that there was nothing wrong with Blaine liking boys. He thought that seeing how wonderful Kurt was, how happy they were together...he thought that seeing it would change things.

It changed nothing.

Blaine's parents weren't homophobic, just a little...uncomfortable with Blaine's sexuality. Sure, his dad had tried to make him straight in more ways than he could count. His mother constantly came to him talking about the new girl who had moved in next door and how pretty she was. They had made it clear that they were uncomfortable. But Blaine had somehow assumed that, eventually, they would become comfortable with it.

He had been wrong. The whole evening had been awkward. Kurt had tried very hard. He came over wearing a simple t-shirt and jeans, he commented on how beautiful the house was, he complimented Blaine's mother's cooking, the works. And his parents- they just sat there, looking uncomfortable. They didn't even try to welcome Kurt in. His mom just fidgeted, wearing a fake smile, and his dad just refused to look at Kurt altogether, wearing an expression that clearly said that he just wanted Kurt to leave.

Kurt had noticed. Blaine _knew_ that Kurt had noticed. He saw the hurt flash across Kurt's face when no one would reply to his words, no one would even _look_ at him. He thought of how much Kurt's family had done for him. Burt and Finn had given Blaine a stern talking to about treating Kurt right at first, but then they had bonded over football and video games. Now Burt ruffled his hair every time he left the house, and Finn always gave him a wide, toothy grin. Carole always gave Blaine more dessert than anyone else (something that Finn and Burt were sure to complain about) and she always commented on what a gentleman Blaine was.

Kurt's family had welcomed Blaine in with open arms, and Blaine hadn't been able to give Kurt _anything _in return. He would have settled for anything, some small-talk, just a smile, any sort of acknowledgement that yes, this was happening, Blaine had a boyfriend. But they had given him nothing. He had muttered, "We have to go," to Kurt, and rushed out of the back door of the house, not bothering to wait for Kurt, trying to hold back the tears of disappointment. He didn't look back at his parents. He didn't want to see the relief on their faces.

He could hear footsteps behind him.

"Blaine?" Kurt called out, "Are you all right?"

Blaine tried to say back, "Fine," but he didn't trust his voice. He kept quiet as Kurt walked around to face him and saw the tears on Blaine's face.

"Oh, Blaine," Kurt said softly. He brushed the tears off of Blaine's cheeks gently.

"I'm sorry," Blaine whispered, "I'm sorry about them."

"It wasn't as bad as it could have been," Kurt reassured him, "They're not really comfortable with it, but we'll work on it, okay? It'll be okay."

"It's just," Blaine said quietly, "It's just that you're family is so amazing and they're so nice to me and I...I couldn't give you anything in return-"

"You've given me so much, Blaine," Kurt said fiercely, "Don't you dare say that. You're perfect, don't doubt that. You're an incredible person and you don't deserve to be out here, crying in the dark. I won't let it happen."

Blaine smiled at him weakly. "Thank you."

Kurt pulled Blaine into a hug. Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt's waist and sighed, feeling much less upset. Kurt leaned back after a few long moments and captured Blaine's lips in a slow kiss, cupping Blaine's cheek gently with his hand. Blaine kissed him back softly and Kurt whispered against Blaine's lips, "I love you."

"I love you too," Blaine said.

Kurt smiled at him for a second and then said, "Now, we're going to go back to your car and you're going to drive me home, and we're going to sing along to the soundtrack of Moulin Rouge the whole way there."

Blaine grinned. "Sounds like a plan."

Kurt leaned forward and grabbed Blaine's hand in an exact imitation of the day they had met.

"Come on. I know a shortcut," Kurt said. Blaine smiled at the words and let Kurt pull him along as they ran back to the car. And this time, Blaine didn't have to imagine that they were running in slow-motion, and he didn't have to pretend that there was romantic piano music in the background. It was already perfect.


End file.
